Kids: From Identity Lost To Identity Found

By: Trish Graves
Originally posted August 2023 in The Messenger Newsletter

It seems like summer flew by, and now your kids are getting ready to head back to school. They will be reconnecting with friends, meeting new teachers, creating new relationships, and quite possibly for them, experiencing new things, things we aren’t ready for.
It only takes a few minutes of watching the headlines to see where our world is headed, and headed there quickly. In my job, we see these new worldviews affecting our kids in a big way. In talking with our preteens, it is evident that our kids are being exposed to things way too young, and they are being forced to make decisions that they shouldn’t have to make. It’s imperative that they don’t make these decisions alone.

In the The Disappearing Church, Mark Sayers talks about a list of seven core beliefs that reflect an individualist society, ranging from believing that the highest good is individual freedom and self-expression, to believing that all forms of external authority should be rejected. We are seeing this play out in our kids, preteens and youth. And for many, it’s innocent because they are hyper-exposed to these beliefs through TV, social media influencers, gaming and peers.

So what can you do? As a parent, you are the first line of defense. It
is up to you to talk with your child and have real conversations every day. During your conversations, see if you can pick up on any of these viewpoints in your child:

• They feel that “Jesus is the only way” seems intolerant.
• They challenge that the biblical teaching about binary gender is
  bigoted and unsafe.
• They talk about themselves as a “brand”
• They refer to “my truth” rather than “the truth.”
• They celebrate the decisions of others, regardless of behavior.
• They fall to peer pressure to stay popular or in the loop.
• They know when they (or friends) have been included in
  something that is wrong, but they stay silent because of peer pressure or status.
  The world wants your children and we have to be ready to fight the good fight. If I can ask you to do one thing right now, it is this:
  Tell your child TODAY that you are there for them. That they can feel safe telling you anything. That you can’t protect them (from whatever it may be) if you don’t know what’s going on. Tell them that while some actions will still have consequences, you are still “FOR THEM.” That you will work through whatever it is together. Above all, they need to understand that they can’t do anything that would make you love them less.

Be prepared to hear things you don’t want to hear, and deal with situations you don’t want to deal with. Most importantly, be prepared to offer healing and restoration with these four truths:

GOD KNOWS YOU.
Hebrews 4:13 says that nothing in all creation can hide from God. There is no place kids and students can go that He cannot see them. He already knows their thoughts and intentions. And even thought He knows everything about us, He still loves us.

GOD DESIGNED YOU.
Colossians 1:16 tell us that God made everything in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible.
Ephesians 2:10 reads “For we are God›s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Even though the worldview would have you believe that you are random, a product of chance, or even a mistake, God says differently.

GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU.
Isaiah 41:10 says “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.” God promises to be with us no matter what happens.
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GOD LOVES YOU.
1 John 3:1a tells us “See what great love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children - and we are! God did not wait for us to love Him, He loved us first. You are loved by God.
Guiding your child through these tough times is hard, and we don’t want you to do it alone. Helping your child find their identity in Christ is crucial. We are here for you for support and guidance. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.