The Character Of Our Characters

By Jessica Murray

The characters that your kids grow up watching matters.

There has been a lot of talk lately about the messaging in children’s media. The negative influences are everywhere, and it is becoming more and more blatant by the minute. I’m not going to specifically call out any one show or media entity, but I’m looking at the big picture.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” As parents, we have a duty to monitor what goes into our kids minds. Especially when they are little, we are supposed to shield them from the world. As they grow in faith and understanding we can introduce more things to them and help them filter it through a Christian perspective.

In our house we try our best to limit screen time, but I’ve come to realize even if you’re doing better than us and consistently limiting it to an hour a day, that adds up quickly. That is 365 hours a year. That is a lot. If you have a toddler or a preschooler, you know they are like little sponges soaking up everything that they see and hear. The characters they consistently watch are teaching them how to behave and how to navigate the world.

We have to pay attention to the shows we let them watch and judge them by their merits. We have to ask ourselves about the character of these characters. Are they whiny? Do they have self control? Are they remorseful when they make mistakes? How do they deal with conflict? Do they listen to their parents (or at least face consequences when they don’t)? Are their parents people that are worthy of respect? Do they even have parents? What is the overarching message that any given episode or movie is telling our children?

Every movie, every show, every character and every song they are exposed to has a message behind it. Some are simple and some are very complex but they are always there. Some are wholesome, some educational, some are silly and harmless fun, some speak to the subconscious and some (especially these days) are just plain evil right in front of your face.

Believe it or not there are some shows out there that do still teach good values! Unfortunately though, we have to understand that it is not the norm. If we don’t pay attention and filter what goes in, we are opening up their little minds to things they have no business being exposed to. We have to analyze these things and look at them from a Biblical perspective.

At the very least, especially when they get to preschool age, we need to walk through the plot lines with them and ask questions to make them think about and challenge the things that they see. My five year old and I have had many discussions analyzing the selfish actions of so many characters and the negative consequences that their behaviors resulted in.

Even if things work out okay in the end, as they often do in kids movies and shows, it’s still important to discuss how some of the heartache could have been avoided and why the actions taken were wrong. If the character learned an important lesson or changed in a positive way, that is important to go over with them as well.

My daughter watches (and loves) all of her princesses, but we talk about the fact that maybe its not a great idea to sign your soul over to a sea witch for a guy you have never even met, or throw your ice powers around and shoot your sister in the heart without even noticing because you are literally throwing a fit, just saying. We talk about many of their positive attributes too, the ones that have them— the ability of some of them to have courage, fight against impossible odds for the people that they love, and stay kind when faced with hardships and even outright cruelty.

Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” I’m mostly speaking about little kids here, but what your teens are exposed to matters so much too! Trish Graves did a great post on this that you can check out on our liveoakkids.org blog, and she has done a lot of work educating parents on some of the dangers of our teens being online.

All of our kids’ exposures matter and we should make that a priority, of course. Where does that start with? Ourselves. This one really hits home for me. If we tell our kids that they can’t watch shows because they have negative messages then we also need to guard what goes into our own hearts and minds. Do the songs and shows we watch (even when our kids aren’t around) honor God? Even if some of them don’t, are you analyzing them from a Biblical perspective?

Anti-heroes are ubiquitous these days, and if we are not careful, we can find ourselves relating to and rooting for characters that are the opposite of the type of people we want to become. In my family we’ve had to cut a lot of things out more recently as we examine the underpinnings of them. I’ve been convicted to cut out some of my very favorite shows and music from my life. It was not an easy choice and for a long time I was trying to justify how it was still ok for me to listen and watch certain things, but I am working on surrendering that part of my life and I know that I am better for it.

I’ll be the first to admit I still have a long way to go but I am working on it. As my parents always said when I was growing up “Garbage in, garbage out.” How right they were! How can I lecture my kids about what they are watching when I know what I’m watching or listening to isn’t wholesome or honoring God? We are called to lead by exam- ple. So going into this summer, we should all try to be mindful of what we are letting into our homes and hearts—as parents, as examples, and as followers of Christ.

Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will.”